18 May Where do I begin? Start with a list
Figuring out where to begin, can be the very hardest step.
When you have lost a loved one and are trying to figure out “where do I begin”, the way ahead can seem anything but clear.
There are so many things to do, and everyone has a different piece of advice for you, and each one points to yet another path or trail to follow.
In the middle of grief and loss, the view ahead is blurred by tears and fear and emotions flying in every direction.
Did you know that the logical parts of our brain are switched off when our emotions are heightened?
That explains why you said that horrible thing in an argument, or why you stood your ground about something that didn’t actually make sense.
When your emotions rule, your ability to think is diminished. And you can easily lose yourself down a path that doesn’t actually matter or take you anywhere.
So, when the emotions run high and you are losing your way, give your brain a logical task.
Ask it to prepare a list.
A list of things to do, things to say, things not to say, the groceries, anything.
Get your rational thinking brain back in gear, and suddenly, the way forward can begin to become clear again.
Get people on your side who can help you see clearly.
I have started to use the “list” tactic when I’m being battered by my own emotions, and it really works.
Give it a try.
You don’t to know the whole picture of how it is going to work out, to begin.
Start with a list, and then take the first step.